I’ll never forget being the only freshman in my personal communication class, in fact, one of the only freshman in the whole school taking that elective. It was my first semester of high school and I was so shy. The last thing I thought I needed was to be surrounded by upperclassmen, but the class turned out to be favorite class in all of high school. I never had more fun than when I was in that class. I don’t think I would be the same person or who I am today if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Clark’s 2017 fourth hour personal communication class. That class helped me grow and blossom until I bloomed into my full potential. My confidence level skyrocketed in that class and stayed with me for the rest of high school. It’s amazing the experiences that we end up having on a whim. I just happened to stumble upon personal communication in the course description book when I was completing my first ever high school scheduling card (not an easy task might I add) and I got hooked on it. It sounded so interesting that I just had to take it - I mean it was one of the few electives that was open to freshman! I can’t imagine who I would be today if I hadn’t. I did not expect for the upperclassmen to be as nice, friendly, and welcoming as they were, but they gave me the confidence and the reassurance I needed to not only enjoy high school, but thrive in it.
I’ll never be able to thank one of my best friends enough for making my friend group go to Snowcoming 2020. Every year my other friends and I would fight her on it; we thought we didn’t need to go to another dance, but every year she convinced us we should go. That is the last, normal high-school dance we will ever go to.
I’ll never forget when I had to get Mastro (Mr. Mastrovito) a water from the vending machine, and I let the machine eat his money before I realized that that particular vending machine only had flavored vitamin waters. I got confused because it showed a normal bottle of Aquafina water on the outside of the machine, so I didn’t look closely before I just assumed that it had those. I was mortified and terrified to bring him back no money and the incorrect drink. I was prepared to pay him back immediately after I explained my mistake, but as I did, while I handed him his vitamin water with lemon infusion, he said, “that’s fine.” No joke to humiliate me Mastro? No scolding? I was shocked, but so grateful! I guess he knew I am the kind of student who doesn’t like to be the center of attention, and he didn’t feel comfortable teasing me that way. Instead, he simply trusted me enough to take his money and buy him a water. Like the dork that I am, who needs constant affirmation, I was honored.
I’ll never forget when I got my first poem published through a student poetry contest in my creative writing class of junior year.
I’ll never forget how underdressed I was at the homecoming football game in my sophomore year. My friends were in winter coats and gloves and I was in a thin sweatshirt, shorts, and socks with slides. It was cold, not to mention raining, so my sock and shoes were DRENCHED by the end of the game. It was an unpleasant feeling after a while, but I never complained. The situation was so me and so hilarious, that I just laughed about it the entire night.
Honestly, some of the biggest lessons that will stay with me are not from actual classes or curriculum at all, but from my best friends. One of my friends knows how much I still struggle with self-esteem and self-confidence, so in all of the birthday cards she gives me, she writes, “You do you.” It’s such a simple reminder and gesture, but it means everything to me. It tells me that she accepts me just the way I am and the world will too. The world needs who I was meant to be and the world needs who you were meant to be.
It was at that same friend’s house for her birthday party, that all my friends and I were dancing and listening to music, when a song came on that I wanted to turn off, but my other friend really liked. I didn’t dislike the song, but someone who I don’t like very much likes the song and so I associated it with that person. My friend was quick to say, “Well, listen to it with us and then you’ll associate it with us. Change its meaning for yourself.” I was flabbergasted. Why hadn’t I thought of that? It meant so much to me that she thought of that! I was punishing myself by not listening to a song I like just because I associated it with someone who treats me badly. Not listening to that song was the equivalent of letting the bully win. I am proud and happy to say that I now listen to that song, and I do indeed associate it with my friends and that party.
Most of all though, all the circumstances surrounding my senior year have made me realize just how much I am capable of. I usually abhor change. I hate when my schedule gets messed up or thrown off, so the fact that I successfully endured a year of chaos and uncertainty is a miracle! I never realized I was so resilient that even when everything was not only out of my control, but literally out of control for everyone, I could adapt and keep marching on. I never realized I was even capable of simply accepting the fact that so many things are out of my control, but since the beginning of the pandemic, that is what I have done. And let me tell you, there is something so freeing about just letting go and letting nature take its course. We try to micromanage everyone and everything down to the minute, but what is going to happen is going to happen. The inevitable is inevitable. We can plan, but we also have to learn and know when to relax. I finally learned how to relax this year - and not in the physical sense that you are thinking of - but mentally. I am so type A that I am constantly uptight, anxious, worried, and stressed. It is so exhausting - even when I’m sitting on the couch watching Netflix and being lazy! This crazy senior year actually taught me how to slow my mind down and find peace, contentment, and acceptance. Once I surrendered everything that was out of my control to nature and my faith, I was the most calm and relaxed I’ve ever been. I was in a state that I didn’t think was possible.
To conclude, I’d like to say thank you to Mrs. Liamini for being an absolutely amazing AP English teacher all year! I feel like I truly learned and improved my skills in your class even though I was virtual all year. That cannot be said for most of my other classes. I’d also like to say thank you to all my fourth hour 12AP classmates for putting up with me and reading my long blog posts like this one. You have all inspired me so much this year! You all honestly amaze me in the best ways! I wish you all the best and nothing but success in all your future endeavors beyond high school. You are all so phenomenally talented and smart - go out there and change the world! To each of you - you do you.
Almost a High School Graduate
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