Identifying mentors is not something unfamiliar to me. I have even gone as far as to thank my mentors before and let them know I consider them a mentor. I think this is important in order to develop a deeper relationship with them and establish their place in your life.
The whole concept of mentors can be complicated. In my novel Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston, the grandmother Nanny is a mentor to the protagonist Janie. When Janie doesn't want to marry who Nanny advises her to, Nanny forces her into a loveless marriage. When I first read this I was immediately appalled. I would never let someone do that to me, but when you see Nanny's point of view and perspective you can discern that she did it out of loving and protective reasons. Nanny simply wanted Janie to be financially secure and well taken care of as soon as possible. Unfortunately, back in the day, women weren't seen as capable of becoming those things themselves. An independent woman taking care of herself was more than frowned upon. So while it seems harsh that Nanny forced Janie to marry a man that she didn't love or even hardly know, Nanny had the best intentions and Janie's best interests at heart when she did it.
I think what society often forgets is that mentors are still human which means even they make mistakes. There's a stereotype associated with the word "mentor" that is: if you are a mentor then you must have infinite wisdom. Mentors are very wise; that's why they can be a source of guidance for others and offer them lots of advice, but mentors are still constantly learning like anyone else. It is an honor and a privilege to be one, but it is also very challenging and demanding because you have to worry about a lot more people than just yourself and bear the burden of other people's hardships, struggles, mistakes, and tribulations. It feels good when you have a breakthrough and you are able to help someone, but other times it is very overwhelming and suffocating. You forget to focus on yourself and your own life and needs. That is why I have thanked my mentors and I should definitely thank them more often than I do. They sacrifice so much of their time thinking up solutions and advice for my problems when they probably have so many of their own in their own life. Sure they are mentors in the first place because they know how to deal with problems better than the average person, but that doesn't mean their problems are nonexistent. A mentor is just usually a selfless person with a special know-how about how to live a successful life that is willing to share it with others. They are selfless enough to put themselves on the back burner until everyone that needs their help is taken care of and settled.
I have seen the pressure a mentor can be under, yet I hope one day I will get to be one for someone else. I hope one day that I will have that opportunity, and that I will recognize it and I will seize it, because I have also seen how gratifying it can be. I have been personally affected and impacted by the impact and the difference a mentor's presence in one's life can make. We are all wired to need each other's company and guidance, so mentors are some of the biggest blessings to the world. I hope, one day, someone will say thank you to me for being their mentor.
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