I guess when you only have one job it is inevitable that you do that job well - maybe too well. Sometimes. It has happened before. I burn people. I damage their eyes. I cause skin cancer. They blame themselves but I blame myself. It wouldn't have mattered if they forgot to wear sunscreen if I didn't shine so well! They only had to invent sunscreen because of me! I only cause horrible consequences and more work for everyone! Every time someone wants to frolic outside he or she has to worry about me - unless it's my day off and the clouds are working.
I wish all the time that I had my own controls or some type of filter. I don't want to burn everyone! I don't want to make people so sick that they can never enjoy me again! I don't want my beauty to make them never able to see beauty or feel beautiful ever again. But I can't stop shining. I don't know how! It's all I'm meant to do. If I don't shine... I have no purpose. I want to have a purpose, just not one with so many negative side effects. It's true all of creation would be dead without my warmth, but why do I have to cause so many harmful side effects just to keep people warm?!
I was never worse than when I blinded Meursault. I irritated him so much. I had already overheated him so many times before. Then... when it mattered most.... I didn't ask the clouds to cover for me - literally. I blinded Meursault until he was so fed up with me and so unable to think straight that he shot and killed a man. I caused a murder! I only wish I had been able to come to his trial and speak. I would've said it was all my fault. Meursault gave me signs and I blindsided him. I caused a man that I was supposed to be keeping alive... to die.
There really can be too much of a good thing my dear humans. Too much of me and you might die fast or you might die slow, but either way you're going to go.
I am sorry to everyone whose death I am responsible for, and I am so sorry Meursault.
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